Groove is in the Heart

Last night I had a dream about EG. We were together. His mom was there. I don't remember much else other than my happiness and his lips. I have to stop doing things like that. I woke up in Infinity on High. It only took a few seconds to bring me back down.

10am - LK calls me to offer me a new position at Amdocs.
10am - I accept.

The rest of the day - I sit and think about what I've just done. So I work for ACD. It's not like BB is there anymore. A slave to the slaves. My optimism about a future affair with GW is disheartening and simply not going to happen. Sigh, the married ones...what is it about him anyway?

Hung out with Amy. Did dinner, a Hippo Tour of Toronto, more drinks at Jack Astors. Wasted. Nothing feels better than giggling with a girlfriend. Jealous that she's seeing a boy and guys seem to hate me.

I think I'm getting fat. I really want to go to kickboxing classes every day but who has that kind of motivation. I hate the way I look though. Something needs to give. I don't think I have enough will power for anorexia/bulimia.

I bought TAI tickets this morning. Nothing will ever feel like VWT in Minneapolis, with him behind the table, looking at me while I died on the inside. William Eugene Beckett. It was all in the summer hair. His voice does it but his face doesn't. I would give anything to have that day again. Or the Snakes on a Plane premiere in LA. Best weekend Ever. Maybe what I'm trying to say is that LL is really what makes my life complete. We've had some fun times. Some Gabe and Billy filled times. I would give anything for an inside joke right now..."Slap my face and call me William Beckett"...there I said it.

2 summers ago I was at TLC. My family. There hasn't been a family since then and I miss it more than anything. Toronto is too sterile and Japan was Japan. What is next? (please say it's an affair with GW!)

I need to kiss some boys. I almost forget what it's like.

Goodbye from the bubble.

ecks ohhhhhhh